Have you ever wondered what it would take to live your life on your own terms? Do you sometimes feel like you aren’t getting as much out of life as you want? Or maybe you’re just going through the motions, day in, day out?

I remember once asking someone how life was and she replied, “Same old, same old…” This was in a Discovery Session where she had called to find out more about coaching and whether I could help her get unstuck.

That statement stayed in my mind for days. It also took me back to a time when I too felt the same. Life just went by on a routine that felt meaningless:

  • Wake up and prepare for the day.
  • Commute to work (it was a 90-minute commute twice a day).
  • Get to the office and work till break time.
  • Hang out with colleagues over break then go back to work reluctantly.
  • Work until lunch time.
  • Hang out with same or other colleagues over lunch then work till 5pm.
  • Commute back home (another 90 minutes).
  • Spend time with the children (I was always tired and not great company).
  • Bedtime.
  • Rinse and repeat 5 days a week.

Weekends were the highlight of my life because I didn’t have to go to work. But even then, there was household chores, groceries shopping, and other duties that intruded into family time.

And then…it would be Monday again!

If you’re nodding as you read along, then you’ve probably wished that you could live your life on your own terms. I certainly did for many years!

While you may not be able to take total control of your life, there are some things you can do to make life easier and more fulfilling.

4 Strategies to Help You Live Your Life on Your Own Terms

1. Manage your time better

Time management is key if you want to live your life on your own terms. Unfortunately, many people either don’t manage their time better or allow others to control their time.

To get started, you need to first assess how you’re spending your time. If it means writing down everything you do each day, do it.

We all get the same 24 hours each day. How much of that time do you spend on things that are important to you? For example:

  • How much time do you spend watching TV, surfing the internet, on social media, chatting on the phone or on WhatsApp?
  • How much time do you spend chatting with colleagues at work?
  • When it comes to your free time…how much of it is spent doing work or errands for other people?
  • After each activity, what can you say you’ve accomplished that’s meaningful for you?
  • You’ll likely find that you spend a lot of your time doing things that offer you absolutely nothing!

Try tracking how you’ve spent your time for at least a week. If you can, track your time for a whole month then evaluate where you’ve spent your time well and where you’ve wasted it.

Once you’ve tracked your time, it’s time to make decisions about the way forward.

2. Identify and prioritize what’s important to you

If you’ve desired to live your life on your own terms, then it means that you also have an idea of the things that are important to you.

Take some time now to explore these ideas and create a list of what’s important to you.

  • As you create this list, keep in mind that urgent things aren’t the same as important things.
  • Also add to this list the things you absolutely cannot do without. Some of these things may seem frivolous to other people…but remember you’re creating a list for you!
  • If you have a partner or family, it’s important to also consider them. It’s a delicate balance so that you don’t selfishly make changes in a way that causes disharmony in your relationship or family.

This list is most effective if it has five or less things. If it grows much longer, you’ll find that some of the items you’ve included are urgent things, or things that are important to others but not so much to you.

Once the list is completed, commit to making time each day for these things. It’s interesting when you get to see just how little time you’ve been giving the items in this list over the years.

One of the areas where many women say they need to invest more time is with family or in their relationships. If this is you and you want to prioritize your partner and family:

  • Start spending more time with them.
  • Be 100% present…which means switching off your gadgets and getting off social media.
  • Listen to their concerns and joys.
  • Create positive memories together.
  • Live, learn and grow together instead of growing apart.

3. Get more physical

This may not be in your list, but you definitely cannot live life on your own terms if you’re not physically healthy.

Exercise keeps your body healthy and your mind active. When your mind is active, you can easily put aside idle activities and change your leisure activities to those that suit your better.

The aim here is not to become a bodybuilding champion. Instead, your goal is increase the happy hormones that come with exercise so that your mind opens up to positive things.

Try implementing a regular exercise regime and you’ll soon lose interest in slouching on the couch or going out for drinks every weekend.

As you become more health conscious and start feeling great about how you look and feel, you’ll be more inclined to add more creative moments and experiences worth remembering.

4. Banish negative thinking

Negativity thoughts cannot go hand in hand with a fulfilling life. So it’s time to clear your mind of negative thoughts, beliefs, attitudes anger and fear.

It may take time to make this shift until you’ve replaced these thoughts and emotions with positive and empowering ones.

Some people find it useful to use affirmations that help them have more thoughts of success and positive change.

Others find it easier to work with an expert:

  • If you have emotional trauma from your past and this is affecting your life negatively, find a credible counsellor or therapist.
  • If you just need guidance and support as you build your new life, working with a life coach can help. Check out Break Free,Live Your Life, which is our signature life coaching program that has helped many women get unstuck and start living more fulfilling lives.

Initially, it will be a challenge to be constantly vigilant about your thoughts. When you work at it consistently, you will eventually banish most of negative thoughts, beliefs and attitudes about yourself and others around you.

As you clear your mind, you’ll create space for more positive and empowering thoughts. You’ll also find yourself having wonderful ideas that build your life, career or business. In no time, you’ll be producing more great ideas than you now have time to process and act on.

Learn to Live Life on Your Own Terms for Greater Fulfillment

You get a new lease out of life when you weigh your priorities. Instead of taking things as they come, you’ll add more passion and excitement to your life by focusing on what’s really important to you.

However, it’s also important to remember that when you choose to live life on your own terms, it won’t happen immediately. It takes time, courage and determination.

The 4 strategies outlined in this post are starting steps to a happier and more fulfilled life. Decide today to prioritize what’s most important to you. Make plans to create the life you desire, set those plans in motion, and use your own priorities to get more out of life.

(Image credit: Pexels)


When you’re ready, here are 3 ways in which Biashara 360 can help you get unstuck, get clarity and excel:

  1. Break Free, Live Your Life: Personal growth can be a big challenge if you don’t have a plan for it. Break Free will help you get unstuck, get clarity, and gain the courage to step up to your next level. It doesn’t matter whether you know your next level or not. What matters is that you’re ready to move forward and you want to do so in a shorter time. We have 2 Break Free classes per year in March and September.
  2. Kickstart Your Business: Are you a Coach, Trainer or Consultant and you hate marketing your services because it feels salesy? Kickstart will help you get unstuck, get clarity, and start turning your prospects into paying clients with more ease.
  3. Work with me 1-1: This is for you if you’re successful and you want personalized coaching, support and accountability. I work with 6 women for a minimum of 6 months per person. Schedule a Discovery Call to discuss your needs and find out how we can work together.

Caroline Gikonyo
Caroline Gikonyo

Caroline Gikonyo is a Life and Business Coach at Biashara 360. She's an avid blogger and also oversees our content creation. This ensures that we give our readers quality and well researched information and tips.

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