October has been a month of exponential growth for me. I’ve found myself doing things I feared and let go of things and people I had been afraid to let go of. All this growth came at a price though. And the judge in the head was waiting to render judgement every step of the way!
For example, I started hosting live weekly teleclasses. While podcasts and evergreen webinars are the rage, I love interacting with people in real time so live classes work for me. I had tested them before and gave up because I didn’t want to commit to a regular class.
The first 3 teleclasses went well and there was no inner judgement. I felt great and looked forward to doing more. In fact, I did have a great time hosting the 4th teleclass too. I also think this 4th one was the best one ever because I was in the zone!
About 30 minutes after the class, the judge in the head came calling with loads of criticism:
- ⁉️ You missed this part in your intro…
- ⁉️ Do you know your voice got hoarse at one point? How come you didn’t notice that and sip some water?
- ⁉️ BTW, you forgot to read all the Chat comments…what if someone feels like you didn’t appreciate them?
- ⁉️ Oh, and did you notice that your marketing bit sounded a bit off?
⁉️ Did you really have to add that marketing bit? What will people think of you? - …and a lot more.
The questions didn’t all come in one go. They came in bursts while I was doing other things. Kind of like silent whispers that sounded so loud. I think this is what gave them so much power because I was caught unaware each time.
My saving point came from using the resources I’ve learnt in Shirzad Chamine’s Positive Intelligence program. I joined the program in July this year and the mind training I’ve received so far kicked in and helped me overcome these insidious and often detrimental judgments.
What is the Judge in the Head Telling You?
I’ve been thinking about this inner critique since hosting the 4th teleclass. I’m still thinking about it today as I write this blog post while on holiday in Watamu, Kenya. That’s how powerful the judge can be. It can take over your life even when you achieve a milestone.
This eternal voice of criticism that never ends. No matter how well you’ve done, this voice comes and tries to cut off your joy. It’s a voice that is never satisfied and it can kill your motivation very fast.
According to Shirzad Chamine, we have 10 saboteurs, namely:
- Judge
- Avoider
- Controller
- Hyper-Achiever
- Hyper-Rational
- Hyper- Vigilant
- Pleaser
- Restless
- Stickler
- Victim
The judge is the master saboteur. No one can escape from this universal saboteur that rules harshly and without mercy.
The judge also works hand in hand with one or more of the other saboteurs. The combinations vary, but they result in negativity that hold you back from success, happiness, and fulfilment.
What is your judge telling you? How are you handling it?
Need some help handling the judge in your head and other saboteurs?
Handling the judge is never easy. Also, the louder and more brutal your judge’s voice is, the more likely it is that you’ll procrastinate, lose motivation, or even give up on your goals and dreams.
Here are some resources that will help you overcome self-sabotage and soar to your highest potential.
Useful Resources From Shirzad Chamine
These resources are available on the Positive Intelligence website and Amazon.com:
- Saboteur Assessment: Do this first.
- Positive Intelligence Quotient (PQ) Program: I highly recommend this mind-training program for anyone in leadership or business.
- Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential AND HOW YOU CAN ACHIEVE YOURS by Shirzad Chamine. This is the book on Amazon.
I am a beneficiary of Shirzad’s program and it has helped me take my life and business to the next level. I must warn you though that if you choose the program, be prepared for a rough ride the first 3-4 weeks as you undo some inner programming.
You can also start with the Assessment then buy the book to get a feel of the process before investing in the program.
A More Localized Approach
Every year, I help professional and business women get unstuck when they harness their internal saboteurs. My program Break Free, Live Your Life has been running since 2011 with amazing results.
Here’s what Lillian had to say about Break Free:
I could write a whole lot regarding my engagement with Caroline as a coach. To summarize, her coaching helped me greatly with self-awareness, especially around my limiting beliefs and how to overcome them. Her coaching is very holistic in the sense that I did feel the impact on my parenting as well. Her coaching is very adaptive to individuals' needs with my personal outcome being growth, self-mastery, and self-love. She is not shy to point you to other professionals when she feels the need to and I found that very professional of her. Thank you Carol for being part of my amazing journey!
Lilian Njuguna SME Programme Manager, Africa Transformation Office at Microsoft
Break Free is specifically designed to help high achieving professional and business women get unstuck and gain more confidence. You’ll be able to go for your BIG goals without losing out on what matters most to you.
Best of all, you’ll do this in the company of other high achievers. I’ll be there to teach, coach, and provide support and accountability as you work through the program and beyond.
Click here to find out more about this program and break free of the thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, and behaviours that keep you playing small.
(Photo Courtesy of Unsplash)
