I got stuck last week when creating the blog post. I wanted to write something powerful to motivate women in business, but the words weren’t forthcoming.
It wasn’t interesting finding myself facing the same dilemma this week! Once again, I was sitting looking at my computer and wondering what to write.
It’s not easy to create something as powerful as the posts we did in October. In fact, it feels like I’m coming down from a high.
So here I am and I’ve been thinking, drafting something, deleting it and starting all over again for over an hour.
Then I asked myself, “What’s the one thing that I’ve noticed women avoiding this year?” And the answer popped into my mind:
Virtually all high-achieving women I’ve worked with avoid celebrating themselves.
For some, this happens consciously as they don’t want to blow their trumpets. Others simply get used to just moving forward and never taking time to celebrate. And there are those who have tried celebrating, but didn’t get a positive response so they stopped.
I’m sure there are more reasons if you have avoided or never celebrated yourself and your achievements.
Celebrating myself is not something that comes easy to me too. I learnt it as part of a coach training program a few years ago. At the start of each weekly class, our mentor coach would ask, “What are you celebrating today?”
The first time he did this there was silence. No one in the class had ever asked themselves this question. So we took time to warm up. And boy didn’t we run with the answers after warming up!
Our mentor later explained why he uses that question to start off each class and urged us to use it with our clients too. Like my class, new clients struggle to answer the question the first few times I ask it.
With time, they get used to it and even come to coaching sessions prepared to answer it. And the list of things to celebrate grows each week!
When did you last celebrate yourself?
It’s easy to celebrate your children, friends, teachers, spouse, siblings, colleagues, parents and other people. In the process, it’s easy to forget to celebrate yourself.
Just think about it…
- When was the last time you took time to just have fun and do at least one thing that you love to do?
- When was the last time you silenced the critic in your head (and the physical critics too) and just enjoyed life?
- And for women, when was the last time you existed as an individual – and not as an extension of your husband, children, extended family, friends, colleagues, job or business?
- When was the last time you gave yourself permission to be you? To be the real you with no apologies, no excuses and better yet, no sucking up to anyone?
When?
Most times, we take ourselves, our careers, our families, our image…too seriously. We worry about what other people will think of us if they could ‘see’ the real people behind our masks.
If this sounds like you, then you’re in for a shock because people are generally too busy with their lives to think much about you.
Maybe some people will talk about you for some time, such as when they’re gossiping in a group. But they forget about you as soon as they leave that group.
The kind of people who can gossip all day about someone else are normally very idle. They’re the kind of people whose opinions about you should not worry you anyway!
Unfortunately, far too many times, we concentrate on pleasing such people. We try so hard to remain off their gossip radar that we forget to simply enjoy life.
Yes, you can do it!
This week, I urge you to take some time and take care of the most important person in your life – YOU.
You don’t have to start with big actions. Just take small steps by doing things that you love. Start giving yourself a break now and then. Start learning how to get over your mistakes and past challenges easily. Enjoy your experience here on earth.
Take the statement “This is your life and not a dress rehearsal” seriously because after all, you only have one life to live and this is it! This is not a dress rehearsal to the real life, so why spend it all in misery and then you die?
Have you ever read or listened to stories about the statements people make on their death beds?
They don’t regret no longer dressing in the latest fashion or not having the latest gadgets. I haven’t seen any who has regretted not buying or owning something. They don’t even talk about what they’ll miss in their careers, jobs or businesses.
Most of the regrets expressed are for not having taken time to enjoy life whether alone or with their loved ones. And some are about relationships broken or not healed. It’s always about relationships and experiences.
Now, we all know that our time on earth is limited. So what would you regret the most at the end of your time here?
Once you answer that question, change your life so that you don’t end up with these regrets. Do this to the best of your ability and according to the resources at your disposal. Start small and grow your experiences as you become more comfortable with the process and as your resources increase.
How sad it would be for you to lie on your deathbed with a lot of regrets. Is it worthy living to regret actions not taken, decisions not made, happiness not taken up, and opportunities that you let go? All because you didn’t place a priority on yourself and worried a lot about other people’s opinions?
Need some help? Here are some exercises for you…
There’s never a better time to start and today is the best day to start celebrating yourself. Here are 20 tips to get you started.
- Accept yourself as you are. There’s always room for improvement, but you need to be happy with who you are now, even as you work on yourself.
- Implement a self-care regime and stick to it. This also means that you create time for yourself daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly and annually.
- Create daily me-time habits for yourself. Give these appointments the same priority as you would with your work or business appointments.
- Start a gratitude journal and write at least 3 things you’re grateful for each day.
- Include something about yourself in your daily gratitude list.
- Compliment yourself on a regular basis.
- Accept compliments and say, “Thank You!” when someone compliments you.
- Dress up…just because!
- Activate your old hobbies and learn new ones. Make sure it’s things that make you happy.
- Spend time with children doing things that make you laugh. Watch a movie, walk in the park, blow bubbles, run around in circles…just have fun.
- Start a WINS list and add onto it regularly. Include both big and small wins. Go as far back as you can remember. Read this list when you’re feeling down.
- Take time off work to wind down after a hectic schedule or project.
- Treat yourself to a (guilt-free) special gift or meal to celebrate an achievement.
- Host a party….for you. You do this for others so why not for yourself? Invite your positive-minded friends for a private celebration.
- Go on holiday alone – to a place you love (a me-holiday).
- Join a mastermind of like-minded people who will hold you accountable to your goals.
- Build celebration into your goals. Create mini-celebrations for small milestones and big celebrations for big milestones.
- Give yourself a monthly allowance just for spending. Work this into your budget so that you always have the money. Make sure you spend all this money every month. You work hard each month so a part of your income is for you to enjoy.
- Pay yourself a bonus each time you hit a work or business related milestone that’s income-related. Spend this money however you want and remind yourself that you earned it.
- Do something that scares you, then celebrate having done it!
So…are you ready to start celebrating yourself? It’s easy to get caught up with life and never stop to acknowledge who you are and what you’ve achieved.
When you constantly celebrate yourself, you automatically increase your self-esteem and confidence. Your life becomes more fulfilling, and the achievement of your goals will be more meaningful.
Take time to celebrate yourself and your achievements. You only have this life to live. Enjoy it. Celebrate it. Live it to the fullest!
(Image credit: Unsplash)
Want to learn how to build celebrations into your goals?
Sign up for the next Goal Setting for Peak Performance class. Over the course of 4 weeks you’ll learn how to create meaningful goals and turn milestones into celebrations. You’ll identify your main goals for 2019, create an action plan for achieving them, and learn how to use 90-day planning to keep track of your goals. Click the image below for more details.
