7 Lessons From Starting and Participating in a Mastermind

You’ve probably heard about the mastermind concept or taken part in one. I first heard of masterminds around 2009/2010 when I read Napoleon Hills’ book Think and Grow Rich. I was certainly looking to get rich very quickly when I got this book. Little did I know that it would lead me on a personal growth journey that still continues to date.

Now hearing about masterminds and taking action to get me into one are two different things. I joined one in 2018 when a friend invited me to join 5 other women in a virtual mastermind. 3 dropped out and the remaining 3 worked together for 3 months.

Fast-forward to March 2019 and I got into a physical mastermind that is now 1 year old.

In this article, I share my experience starting this physical mastermind group. I also share 7 lessons learnt from my experience as a member of the group for the last 12 months.

A little bit of history…

I started my first formal business in 2007 and it crashed in April 2009. That was my first big failure. It was so public and left me in pain and totally devastated. I had given this business everything – financially, emotionally, physically and even time-wise. So I took this failure really hard and personally.

Towards the end of 2009, I started evaluating the experience and my lessons learnt. I looked at everything: from the moment I realized I didn’t want to be employed anymore to quitting my job, to deciding the business to get into, setting it up, managing it and the eventual failure.

At the same time, I was reading a lot and that’s when I came across Napoleon Hill’s book. As I read this book, I got an idea to form a network of 12 businesswomen. A space where the women support each other as they grow their businesses. This was definitely something that I didn’t have before and during my business journey.

This idea grew until I had a 4-page outline of what we would do as a group and how we would support other women without making this group bigger than 12.

For many years, this was just a dream that moved from one year’s plan to another. I knew deep inside that the formation of this group wasn’t going to be my work. This was purely God’s work.

Despite this, I tried to form the group a few times when I thought it was the right time. Also, I started feeling ridiculous when years passed and nothing was happening.

I was also wondering why God had gone so silent on me. What was He waiting for?

Additionally, it was clear that the majority of the group would end up being women who were more successful than I was in business. I wasn’t going to be in the group as an expert. I was just going to be one of the members and definitely not the one in charge.

So there was a lot of letting go of my ego expected of me. Maybe that’s what made it so hard to start the group.

Finally, being in this group was going to be a long way out of my comfort zone in so many ways. For one, I’m an extreme introvert. Also, I’ve been in a number of groups and chamas or women’s groups that failed. So I wasn’t getting into this new group happily. I was stepping into this with a lot of concern and quite a number of fears.

When it’s time, it’s time!

Eventually, in February 2019, I got a very strong conviction that the time was right. This conviction was so strong and clear that I took immediate action and invited 2 women to join me. One of the women requested to bring another friend and we all met for breakfast on 5th March 2019.

It was an amazing experience!

I went home full of joy and fulfilment and I was so awed at how well things had turned out, in just this first meeting.

Little did I know that the first hurdle would come in less than a week when one of the women I had invited opted out. She also happened to be a very close friend, someone I had known for more than 20 years. So her opting out left me feeling lost.

Still, the remaining 3 of us pushed on. One woman joined us within the year and we’ve grown to 7 this year.

Celebrating the 1st anniversary??

On 4th March this year, we celebrated our first anniversary. Interestingly, we almost forgot that it was our anniversary until one of us looked through her notebook and mentioned it.

On that day, we were having our monthly meeting (we meet on the first Wednesday of the month). We ended up spending 11½ hours in a meeting (from 8:00 am to 7:30pm).

Despite this day being so long, my mind was very fresh by the end of the meeting. This was partly due to the synergy and energy, partly to the venue’s ambience, and partly to frequent breaks.

We’ve now all grown to amazing levels as we:

• Support each other.
• Hold each other accountable to the goals we set and share in the group.
• Challenge each other to grow personally, professionally, and in our businesses.
• Celebrate milestones and achievements.
• Ensure no one is left behind as we all move forward in our businesses.

We’ve had laughter, tears, anger, a little bit of drama, and even thoughts of quitting the group when the fire got too hot. Yet, we all came back and we’re now enjoying the benefits of our commitment to growth.

Best of all, we now have a sisterhood of women we trust and whom we lean on. And I, for one, am really looking forward to this second year!

7 lessons I’ve learnt from this experience

Here are the main lessons I’ve learnt having set up this group and also having stuck to it for 12 months.

1. Never give up on an idea that’s taken deep root in your heart.

Keep the idea burning in your mind even if it seems like it will never manifest. My dream was conceived in 2009 and manifested in 2019 – 10 years later. And even then, when it manifested, it first seemed like it was going to fail.

So don’t let past failure in a similar venture keep you from trying again. You may have to try a number of times before you succeed! You may fail a number of times. But keep pushing on. Or keep waiting for the right time.

And when the right time comes, when you feel it, when the signs are showing you that this is time, then take action very fast. Don’t hesitate.

2. When you set up a group, let go of the need to be in charge.

This means that you remove your ego from the equation. For example, in May last year, the other 2 members of the group challenged me so much that I rebelled. I even got physically sick due to this resistance.

I took off from the group for 2 months, and then I found myself coming back again. My ego was so at that time and I was trying to hold on and control the group. I now leave my ego at the door in each meeting☺.

3. Hold space for each other’s growth…in a space of love and companionship.

As women, we have a lot going on in our lives. It’s impossible for us to avoid bringing our personal stuff to such a space.

In our group, we’ve chosen to deal with whatever someone presents on the meeting day first and then move on to their business. Sometimes we end up not touching their business at all if someone has something big going on in their personal life.

This is a huge one for all of us though it sometimes feels really painful when you’re the one in the hot seat!

4. Accept people as they are.

We all have areas that need improvement. At the same time, we’ve come into this group of our own free will. Our temperaments and personalities are also very different.

If you choose not to accommodate others, you miss out on the richness of the relationships that you build inside and from the group.

I could write a whole thesis on this one so probably this is something I’m going to write a blog post on.

5. Commit 100% to be in the group.

This is not the kind of thing or the kind of space you get into with one foot in, one foot out. You have to be in fully and to stick through the rough patches.

Additionally, you need to apologize when you’ve wronged someone or even wronged the group as a whole. You also need to accept apologies with grace, and to let go of grievances.

When in doubt here, check out what I said in #2 where I talked about the ego.

6. Give each person equal attention or make up for it.

As with all groups, there will be some dominant personalities and some silent ones. It’s very important that each member feels heard, appreciated and understood.

While it’s not always possible to give equal attention in all meetings, we’re quite conscious of this in our group and acknowledge it when it happens. Then we ensure that the person or people who got less attention are prioritized in the next meeting so things balance out.

So far, because our mastermind is not very big, we’ve managed to have Hot Seats of at least 30 minutes for everyone in every meeting.

One reason why our most recent meeting took so long – 11½ hours is a long time – is because we had a new member join us. When we have new members, we give the new member at least an hour of airtime, and of course quite a bit of grilling to make sure that they fit in with the group.

7. Don’t set formal rules too soon.

I believe we’ve benefited a lot by not being very rigid. While there’s a need for some basic rules of conduct, I also think it’s quite important to let the group find its course.

We’ve found our course one year later because we’ve gelled and agreed that we’re in this for the long haul.

We’re also relaxed about a number of things. However, as we grow, there’s now need for a bit more structure, which is something we’re working on.

Being in a mastermind is not easy…but it gets easier with time

While our latest meeting was very long, we all left feeling taken care of, including our new member. We’re also at a point now when we know that during the meeting we’ll not have a smooth ride. And that’s OK because we need people who see our blind spots and who also look ahead for us.

In our group, it can be quite dramatic when we’re running away from the stuff we don’t want to really look into. People are keen and they take notes. Reference is made to these notes even 12 months later…and you’re reminded of stuff you said that you now think nobody remembers! So there’s no hiding or wiggling out.

Also, you’d better have a damn amazing reason for backing out on your goals or tasks. These include things you said you’ll complete and then you let them slide when you thought no one was looking. Hakuna kujificha! There’s no hiding.

It’s also easier to admit your mistakes and take ownership of things that you’ve dropped and areas where you’re wrong in any area of your life. I’ve received amazing parenting and personal growth tips from the group. The fact that people follow up even months later to find out how you’re doing, I think this is great too.

There’s a lot I can say about mastermind groups based on my experience over the last 2 years or so. But the main thing I want to stress here is that every woman entrepreneur needs such a support system. It doesn’t matter who you are and what you do, you need a group of peers to grow with.

Masterminds are a very powerful source of peer-to-peer brainstorming, accountability and support. I highly recommend that you join or create one this year for your exponential professional or business growth. It’s definitely not an easy space to get into, but it’s highly rewarding in the long-term.

Over to you…

Are you currently in a mastermind or have you been in one in the past? I’d love to hear from you so feel free to share your experience in the Comments below.

(Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash)